Time Flies

Wow. It has been way too long since I last posted. Things have been... crazy fast.

Been to the club a couple of times since then. I've taken the first few steps into meeting all the people I talk about, and so far I've been really happy.

I have actual names for the Ballerina, Strawberry and Augustin. I had already made friends with Knoah, but that is progressing a bit deeper, I added him on Facebook, and he seems like a pretty cool cat. I know who the Bookeeper is, although I haven't said much to her yet, and a new friend, now the Mad Hatter, says hi on a regular basis.

Know these people is a bit different than just watching them, but I've been reminded lately that becoming involved in one's life is just as important as living it. So I'm trying.

I get kind of nervous now though. Before, I could just go and hang out, there wasn't anything to hold or maintain. Now that there are all these connections, the visits seem.. weightier somehow. Almost like a responsibility. Still, I feel its going in the right direction, so lets see how it plays out.

The Muse has been especially wonderful of late, we've talked about her moving into my house. I'm pretty excited, but I'm also pretty anxious about whats going to happen in the future.

I made some pretty big mistakes in my past, and I don't want to see them repeated. It's hard after having a major commitment dissolve, ten years to one person is a long time, and no matter how good things are, no matter how amazing, I still worry sometimes about whether or not it's just some big show or self-delusion, and whether or not the whole thing could come crashing down at any given time.

I don't think it will. But I don't know for sure. Watching. Waiting. Being a good person.

Hope.